This horoscope is extraordinary. First of all, the Mayans did not use leap years, which means that every year, each month started six hours earlier.
After a few hundred years, calendar winters would set in during astronomical autumns, which makes it difficult to follow the correlation between our months and Mayan months. However, this leaves our readers the freedom to choose the zodiac sign that suits them best. Besides, we do not even know whether the ancient Mayans used this (or any other) horoscope; it may have been commissioned by one of the esoteric websites that posted it in the first place. What’s more, we don’t really trust the editor responsible for this material, because we suspect he was born under the Wayeb’i sign, and, to be completely honest, Wayeb’i people can’t tell dreams from reality.
To sum up: if you are looking for a solid horoscope, we recommend you consult one of the illustrated weeklies.
2nd – 21st January
Meaning: black rain, black sky, moon, first flower, west
Ch’en represents the night, which means that people born under this sign are night owls rather than morning larks. They feel best in black, although they may opt for dark blue outfits on exceptionally joyous occasions. They work most productively between 9pm and 4am.
All nocturnal things bring these people luck. They stuff their pockets with moonstones, deep-sea fishbones and lockets full of darkness. They wear dark glasses, even during moonless nights, making them completely sun-proof during the day by sealing them off with slices of whole-grain bread. Apart from the above-mentioned features, they are just like the rest of us.
22nd January – 10th February
Meaning: green rain, Venus, second flower, south
Yax is an exceptionally congenial sign. People born under it are open, generous and full of love. They are always ready to help others; only they can hear the lofty music that accompanies their deeds. They do not cope well with arguments and confrontations and try to avoid them at all costs, which becomes their main occupation. The days of a Yax person are made up of discreet changes of topic, blind eye and deaf ears turnings – all woven into a complex social-spiritual shroud.
If you are a person born under the Yax sign, rest assured – you are greatly appreciated by those around you, mostly because you always reach for that dried up, droopy piece of apple pie left in the corner of the baking tray.
11th February – 2nd March
Meaning: white rain, frog, the frog constellation, third flower, north
You stick to your guns without falling prey to doubt, dilemmas or self-questioning. You feel awesome in your own skin and love facing new challenges. You like change. Your symbol is the frog, an amphibian that lives both on land and in water. Sak’ is the only sign that can walk on cracks in the pavement without thinking of bad luck.
The best time for the Sak’ is early morning. They pound on the doors of their fitness clubs at the break of dawn, demand that the sleepy employee give them the heaviest bar bell, jump on the running mill at maximum speed, and start meditating. They do their best to take care of everything in the morning, because tiredness will most probably set in before noon, only to grow in the following hours – in the afternoon, they are so weak that they sometimes disappear, leaving their empty clothes behind. Fear not – they will be reborn at twilight.
3rd – 22nd March
Meaning: red rain, trees, stag, east
Keh is, above all, balance, calmness and tranquility. Desiring harmony, disliking quarrels and chaos. As someone born under the Keh sign, you never aggravate the conflict, which doesn’t mean you let anyone treat you like a pushover, paperweight, pincers or any other object starting with the letter ‘p’. However, you tend to be sensitive and it bothers you. Meditating in nature and hiking in the woods help you when you doubt yourself most. So what is the exact difference between Keh and other people who also benefit from meditating outdoors and hiking? That is exactly what people born under this zodiac sign think about when walking in the woods, or try not to think about while meditating.
23rd March – 11th April
Meaning: confinement, hideout, god of the number 3
The meaning of this sign is not entirely clear and maybe that is why people born under it are quite mysterious. However, they are popular: they seem enigmatic, which sparks interest. Although they like company, sometimes they need to be alone, to gather their thoughts and focus on new goals.
If you were born under the Mak sign, it is recommended that you spend one hour a day alone. You can put that time to good use by watching an episode of your favourite TV series, taking a foamy bath or sitting in your armchair and thinking about how mysterious you are and that your friends are certainly wondering about what you are doing at the moment and why you have missed the play, even though you invited them yourself and have the tickets.
12th April – 1st May
Meaning: earth, dog, yellow, yellow sun
This sign represents the sun and the earth, which is why people born under it love nature – provided the weather is nice. Depending on the season, they may be overcome with a desire for long voyages. They want to stay in a secluded, beautiful place and find tranquility, sunbathe, walk barefoot on the grass, earth or sand.
Not all voyages seem attractive to them. For instance, marching along the side of the road in a cold drizzle awakens a strange resentment.
They should take up photography – ancient Mayans born under this sign would have started snapping photos by now. Besides, we would know so much more about their culture if they had.
2nd – 21st May
Meaning: owl, moon bird, god of rain and clouds, fire
Muwan balances between fire and water, which is why Muwan people are so strongly affected by storms: rain and lightning give them great power. They open jars without using wet cloths, shoot paper balls straight into the basket, recite the names of states and counties, and so on.
As someone born under this sign, you value sincerity and honesty. What counts for you is openness and sincerity, whether you are happy at the moment or not. You hate liars, and you are able to see right through them. When something is on your mind, you say it out loud – who cares if you are home alone in the shower.
You also like discovering new things, and you learn easily. Many issues and research topics make you curious, just like detective riddles, especially when they relate to morning key and telephone quests.
22nd May – 10th June
Meaning: seed-time, jaguar, steam, arrow, drum
If you were born under this sign, consider yourself lucky. Your spirit animal is the jaguar, an important symbol in Mayan culture, nowadays a brand of expensive cars with jaguar figurines on the hood – the fact that every boy once dreamt of snapping them off and running away is telling.
People born under this sign are strong, elegant and wise. They are authority figures for many. They always give advice before hearing the question. Hence asking questions is most often unnecessary, advice is enough. In their free time, jaguars should organize fun games for their friends – to exercise their leadership skills and get acquainted with the taste of success.
11th – 30th June
Meaning: turtle, moon goddess, first god
The patron of this sign is the turtle, an animal associated with the moon and spirituality. K’ayab search for hidden meaning in everything that happens to them. Their life path is marred by an alternating sense of imminent damnation or salvation. Sometimes people born under the K’ayab sign may be jolted out of this pattern and the turtle feels the need to understand the people around. It asks itself: “Why does he treat me this way?”, “What does she think about me?”
As a K’ayab, you may find solace in creating art or writing poems and subjecting your works to a detailed analysis. You may also go ahead and prepare the analysis, then match your art to it. All in all, you shouldn’t forget about your meals and basic hygiene.
1st – 20th July
Meaning: granary, crocodile, seashell, labyrinth, two gentlemen, darkness, Itzamna (god of rain and agriculture)
Crocodiles appeared in the Late Cretaceous, long before dinosaurs became extinct. They managed to survive and adapt despite numerous natural disasters. They evolved gradually and patiently, surviving till today.
The same can probably be said about human crocodiles. They dislike change, but they manage it well. It does not sound sexy, but it is a wise, long-term strategy, and it seems possible that in the future, people will only be born between 1st and 20th July – the other signs will go extinct, just like dinosaurs.
21st – 25th July
Meaning: miserable days, earthly god, ghost, missing days (a short, five-day month)
Wayeb’ is a singular month. It only lasts five days. And during these five days, everything goes wrong. There is no balance and harmony. Scary ghosts appear. No projects should be undertaken.
It seems bad, but it is not. If you were born under the sign of the missing days, you are connected to transcendence. You probably are a spiritual person, fascinated by life after death, heaven and reincarnation.
You should write down the dreams you have about being other people. It will help you discover who you were in your previous lives and how it influences your present life. Besides, maybe everything you believe to be your life right now is nothing but a dream about one of your past or future selves. All the more reason to write it down before you wake up or fall asleep once again.
26th July – 14th August
Meaning: jaguar, chieftain, leader, soft earth
Jaguar again? Well, to be honest, that jaguar in the May-June sign is nothing but a buffoon. Let us be open about this – we will not break their hearts because they most certainly only read their own horoscope. But you are the real jaguar, and they do not suspect a thing.
You are a fantastic team worker, and sensitive as well: a leader with a gentle heart. Whenever you hold an executive position, your subordinates love you. You are straightforward and easy-going, always open to new experiences. You know how to relax and have fun. Many see you as their best friend, even those who know you well. Do not worry.
15th August – 3rd September
Meaning: black sky, black jaguar, black storm, night, frog, soft earth
This sign is similar to Ch’en and Sak’. You draw energy from nocturnal darkness. Your spirit animals are the jaguar and the frog. You owe them your best features. You are an awesome leader – as a jaguar, you must be, but you also adapt well in new contexts (just like the frog). You can be a frog at work and a jaguar at home. Or a frog at home and at work, and a jaguar while commuting.
The night, especially in its most silent hours, gives you peace. The frog and the jaguar can finally curl up together and rest.
4th – 23rd September
Meaning: red connector, red sky, red storm, stag
Another Mayan zodiac sign. How is it different from the March stag? Well, people in the Syp sign have a particular connection to fire and air, which makes them perfect candidates for welding in gas buffer zones (once they have passed all the necessary courses). They also love lighters – when they leave a party, their pockets are usually full of lighters.
Since your spirit animal is the stag, you share many features, gentleness and grace above all. You are sensitive and easy to hurt. If something destabilizes you, you fall back or run. However, sometimes you might be domineering and you have well-developed leadership skills. Red is your favourite power colour. Remember this while choosing you accessories. When you cross the street, wait for green.
24th September – 13th October
Meaning: bat, fish, moss, beginning of winter
Sotz’ is a sign whose spirit animals are the bat and the fish, two very different creatures that move with equal grace. Your elements are air and water. You are not easy to trick. False sales at the supermarket, surreptitious media advertising, the difference between medians and averages – everything is obvious to you. You can foresee various hurdles, since you have a sharp intuition, but you also welcome advice when you want to solve a problem. If you want to change the world, select a group of people and brainstorm. This will help you understand that others are simply naive.
14th October – 2nd November
Meaning: heaven and earth
This sign is connected to the earth and the sky, you are fascinated by everything up there: planets, constellations and overhead power lines.
You are, however, a pragmatic person. Even when a situation touches you greatly, you are capable of setting your emotions aside and coming up with a plan. You can walk from your bed to the bathroom and back in absolute darkness without tripping over furniture.
You are a fabulous psychologist. For instance, if you know someone who wrongly denies being in a toxic relationship, you will explain to them how unhappy they are. Your friends believe you are the best mentor, which means you should hone your talents to help them whenever they need you. However, do not share advice uninvited, especially with people you have never seen before. Remember that not everyone knows how to accept the truth.
3rd November – 22nd November
Meaning: dog with sunny tail, bird days, dog god
You have the same relationship with dogs as people born under the K’ank’in sign. These animals feel endless love and loyalty towards humans. For the Mayans, dogs were guides to the afterlife. You may be excited by reincarnation. Death or ending another chapter of our lives often seem terrifying, but you perceive them as new beginnings. Many people are afraid of worst-case scenarios, while you notice the positive effects of negative events. For instance, your guests did not want to eat the food you made, which means you have lunch for the next two days. Thanks to this kind of thinking, you can help others relinquish their fear of death and cooking fails.
23rd November – 12th December
Meaning: new sun, god of sun, red clouds, green
The god of sun protected people from illness and darkness. You are his kin, which makes you a natural healer. When someone has a bad day, you are able to ward off bad thoughts and emotions. All you have to do is cheer up.
Although you have a sunny disposition, you may worry from time to time – quite a lot! Try telling yourself that worrying will not get you anywhere. Do things that help you relax. If you have no idea what to do, just go for a run or take a bath. Remember, everything will be fine. You should also learn to trust your own decisions and ask for the help of your loved ones. If nothing helps, call the sun god relatives hotline.
13th December – 1st January
Meaning: water, gathering clouds, jaguar
Mol is the last sign in the Mayan calendar, so the reader may rest assured: there will be no more jaguars. As a jaguar, you are powerful, you triumph in difficult situations and always learn your lesson. Unfortunate events shake you up badly, but in the end you know you will grow even stronger.
You are a spiritual person and a skilled leader. You would do perfectly as a yoga instructor who, on the one hand, instructs others, and on the other, helps them find solace and relaxation. However, this position would require learning yoga, or else people might get suspicious.
Translated from the Polish by Joanna Piechura
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