The Most Beautiful Day of My Life
Fiction

The Most Beautiful Day of My Life

Self-Carelessness with Coachinger
Matthew Coachinger
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In order to tell you about the best day, I must first summarize the worst.

Seemingly, that is objectively, it was a very successful day. I spent it with friends, at a picnic. The weather was wonderful. But right at the start of this al fresco party, I was disturbed by an event (or rather, a lack thereof). Lo and behold: someone said something hilarious, then someone else followed with a funny phrase, and finally everyone laughed out loud. No wonder, they did – it was very funny. Then, suddenly, a wonderful, laconic punch line popped into my head. In a new way, it merged the two previous jokes, showing their hidden aspects, blooming and bursting with numerous meanings. I was about to deliver that royal punchline when someone interrupted me and directed the flow of conversation in an entirely different direction. And I was left behind with this – never born – pearl of mine.

For a moment, I even considered standing up and shouting: “Stop!” After that second sentence, I was to say my punch line – the final, undeniable culmination of centuries of banter! But, of course, I didn’t do it. I just sat there, breathing heavily as I tried to convince myself that it was nothing – just a few words left unsaid.

Instead of quickly forgetting the entire thing, I was imagining – with growing excitement – my would-be chance to shine socially. This made me feel worse with every minute. As if a tall, invisible figure was slowly wrapping me up in their coat. An engrossing tension grabbed me by the throat and burst out of my ears. I felt regret for my lot, and I was simultaneously ashamed of worrying about such a triviality. At the same time, I tried to partake in the fun activities; I even managed to crack a few jokes, after which everyone was shaking with laughter. Still, I could not free myself from the stupid suspicion that they only did it out of pity.

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The following day, I got up with the feeling that something terrible, something that’s best not to mention, had happened the day before – and of course, I remembered it immediately. I will not talk about the following few days, because that would be just tedious. In any case, the scar burnt deep into my soul.

But, eventually, my salvation came.

From the start of that day, and it was a Saturday, everything fit together nicely. First, I met a friend with whom I went to the bookstore. There I bumped into a couple of friends and together we went to get ice cream, then on to a café and somewhere else, I think. Anyway, once it began to get dark, and it was one of those dusks thanks to which the world gets brighter, we marched into a restaurant, and there I was seated next to a couple of people. I knew these people well, oh, so well!

Immediately, I could feel what would happen next.

The first person said a funny phrase, like they did at the picnic. The other responded, word-for-word, with what they had said that day. Then everyone, the entire restaurant full of people, looked at me with encouragement, and some even nudged me, because now the time had finally come for my masterpiece. Slowly, I got up from the chair, opened my mouth and for a long, long time I stood there completely speechless, until finally I shook my head and whispered:

“I love you.”

And in chorus, they shouted:

“Happy Birthday!”

And they jumped up high, up to the ceiling, and I jumped with them.

Dedicated to Marek Raczkowski

 

Translated from the Polish by Joanna Figiel

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Self-Carelessness with Coachinger
Matthew Coachinger

Today we shall look at the often forgotten, quite problematic, or even embarrassing matter that is other people and their notorious existence. Once they get on the right path, each novice can clearly see how great an obstacle to self-development those around us are. Once this dreadful truth reaches our consciousness, we immediately ask ourselves: How was I able to live among all these inveterates until now? How am I supposed to treat them? How do I talk to them?

Many adepts try to solve this problem in the spirit of Heedlessness. They try to somewhat diffuse it, that is, care deeply about what others say and do, and then fully ignore it – alternately, in chaotic, irregular cycles – until these two extremes merge into one master–slave, coherently incoherent approach. Even those who have not yet entered the path toward heedless self-development often intuitively chose this method. And it is a rather good method. But a better one can still be proposed.

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